Week 6 Impressions by Alex Hickok

By far the most interesting thing we have done this week is visiting the Houses of Parliament. Allow me a minute to paint a picture of this historic institution. First of all, it’s massive. It contains some 2,000+ offices, 12 restaurants, at least 4 pubs and spans many city blocks next to the River Thames. Apart from the imposing physical nature of such a building, the whole thing is surrounded by large fences and patrolled with guards packing sub-machine guns. They appeared not to be messing around, but very relaxed knowing they are the only people around with firearms, let alone automatic ones.

We all arrived at the tourist entrance, and met our tour guide, Ian, who was quick to poke fun at America’s oil consumption as well as Prime Minister Tony Blair in a typical dry British way. He also claimed that he did not normally give tours, but seemed to know much more than any of the other tour guides we overheard inside the building. Go figure. Anyways, our tour started at the entrance the Queen uses once a year to open Parliament. After passing through the security checkpoint, which consisted of x-raying bags, a metal detector and a pat down (much like airport security, only more efficient), we were informed that all mobile phones had to be turned off and cameras could not be used while inside. This was disappointing, as the whole building is basically a work of art; every surface is embellished with decoration in one matter or another. If it was any consolation, we were allowed to bring pocketknives with us (unlike airport security) as long as the blades were shorter than 4.5 inches!

Next we found ourselves in a lobby with many busts of previous Prime Ministers, which was a reoccurring theme throughout the tour. We continued to follow the path the Queen takes when she opens Parliament, through her waiting room, and into another large room for entertainment of foreign ambassadors and leaders. This room was massive, with huge ceilings and two large (and I mean LARGE) paintings of British war victories over the French. Our quick-witted tour guide, amid pleas for us to stop “sucking down” the oil, pointed out the little hooks above the paintings, which could be used to cover up the paintings if the French were guests in the room. If relations between the two rival nations were not cordial, the curtains stayed off. Judging by the English-French track record, I would guess they didn’t use those little hooks much.

Next stop was the House of Lords, close to the real meat of the Parliament system. The House of Lords is the unelected part of the Parliament, and is represented by the color red, with a throne to for the Queen to use to open Parliament every year. If you ever have the chance I recommend watching a video of the opening of Parliament; it is hilarious. So the Queen enters the building much as we did (albeit with out the security check, I don’t think anyone would suspect the Queen of smuggling a gun/bomb in her gowns) hangs out in her waiting room while being tended to by her 20-or-so ladies-in-waiting, then proceeds to her throne in the House of Lords. She summons the House of Commons to the Lords house, and then reads “her government’s” legislative plan for the session, which is in fact written by the Prime Minister. This is where things get good. Technically royalty is not allowed in the House of Commons (which is in another room down the hall), so she has to send her representative, named “Black Rod” to get them. As you might surmise, Black Rod is a gentleman who, in fact, carries a black rod. He proceeds down the hall towards the open door of the House of Commons with a confident stride, only to get the door slammed in his face, literally. He then proceeds to bang on the door three times with his black rod, which is opened by the Ministers of Parliament (MPs), and amid insults hurled in his direction, he requests the presence of the MPs in front of the Queen. The leaders of the government and the opposition follow Black Rod back to the House of Lords, and squeeze in as many people as they can into the already packed room. Ironic in that the Queen summons her government into the House of Lords, which is too small for most of the MPs, to have a speech read to them that they had just handed to her the day before. After this is done, the Queen exits, and everyone heads for the nearest pub. You may ask yourself, why the hell do they do this crazy weird ceremony every single year? It’s origins come from the time of King Charles I, who after trying to arrest five MPs of his Parliament and was severely rebutted, caused a civil war. Thus then after, the Monarch never attempted to set foot in the House of Lords, sending instead trusty Black Rod to brave the angry MPs.

After the House of Lords, we finally made it to the House of Commons, where the real action is. This is where MPs sit (sometimes stand) and shake fists, point fingers, hurl witty insults, and somehow run a government. Every week they have a chance to grill their Prime Minister publicly about current issues, which is called Question Time, and happens for 30 minutes every Wednesday. I highly recommend it; I believe it’s televised on C-SPAN in the US. The House of Commons requires its politicians to actually stand up to intense debate and criticism, something I wish the US would do. It’s kind of like our Congress but with a two-drink minimum and in a very small room. Imagine seeing GW and his cronies getting grilled every week on TV by an angry mass of articulate, intelligent, cutthroat lawmakers. Just watch Question Time and you will see what I mean. The rest of the tour was ho-hum; mostly just some offices and finally a gift shop, as any good tour ends with.